How Chasing Superficial Leaves You Empty. | LIFEstyle Resource Magazine

How Chasing Superficial Leaves, You Empty.

The Ties That Bind

Have you ever gone on a long trip from home with a trusted group of friends? Have your well-made plans gone awry, and you found yourself lost in foreign lands, far away from home? Maybe the airlines misplaced your luggage, and it will take days to locate it. We all like to believe we’re amazing people and will do the right thing when the time comes, but the truth is, we will never know until tested by life.

“You’ll never know who you really are or who’s with you until something bad happens.”

~ KC Penamon

In the contemporary dating landscape, personal growth and wealth are often characterized by rapid interactions and transient encounters. Many individuals find themselves ensnared in a cycle of instant gratification. The allure of casual relationships often eclipses the profound intimacy associated with genuine commitment. As individuals embark on the pursuit of their “ideal,” they may inadvertently elevate their expectations to unsustainable levels—seeking traits such as ambition, wit, and adventure—thereby isolating themselves from authentic connections.

This relentless pursuit of perfection can devolve into a counterproductive trap. When reality inevitably fails to meet these heightened ideals, individuals may experience profound feelings of loneliness and regret. While not all individuals succumb to this cycle, it is a prevalent narrative: those who wait for a flawless partner often reflect with nostalgia on the genuine connections they allowed to slip away. This reality prompts an inquiry into the nature of true fulfillment in love, wealth, or fame, as well as the sacrifices individuals are willing to make in pursuit of it.

We are compost

It appears the world is always trying to keep people apart. It doesn’t matter who you’re with, whether it’s a friend, family member, or co-worker. Nor does it matter where you go because the moment it’s received by the universe, it’s a wrap. Why is that?

Once, my father said, “It’s how the earth eats. It’s how it devours you. Favorable to the animals in the wild jungles. Those without a tribe or group usually ends up someone’s breakfast, lunch or dinner. Mother Earth always eats her fill no matter what. From dust we came, to the dust, we shall return.” Are you telling me that, for every skinned knee, the earth was lapping my blood up, my DNA, my chromosomes like strawberry syrup on pancakes, eager for my death, so it can eat? The look on my 10-year-old face was probably priceless because it actually made more sense than any science book I ever read. Now every time I fall in life, I get right back up.

Did you know that from 1600 – 1850, wooden coffins were fully biodegradable? In ancient times, the dead were covered in shrouds, wrapped in linen cloth, or sacrificed on altars, thrown overboard on ships, impaled during war, striking fear into their enemies. Everything living feeds the Earth and its inhabitants. All living and natural substances are food for the Earth to consume.

Wood to Earth: The Timeline of American Burial Practices and Environment

Period	Common Practice	Biodegradability
1600s–1850s	Plain wood coffins (pine, oak, etc.), no coatings	✅ Fully biodegradable
1860s–1880s	Shellac, varnish, metal fittings introduced	⚠️ Partially biodegradable
1900s–Present	Metal or chemically treated wood caskets	❌ Mostly non-biodegradable

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The Reluctance to Commit: An Objective Analysis

Today, a considerable number of individuals exhibit hesitance toward entering long-term relationships due to a multifaceted array of psychological factors. A significant barrier is the fear of vulnerability, frequently rooted in past experiences of heartbreak, betrayal, or abandonment. This fear is further compounded by societal pressures, including the idealized representations of love, power, and wealth in all media (television, music, radio, social media), a prevalent mentality that favors short-term engagements, and cultural vibes. It prioritizes immediate gratification over deep, hard work or rational connections, such as e.g. learning basic information about a person, developing understanding, and solving issues together.

Moreover, childhood experiences leave enduring impacts on adult attachment styles. Individuals who grapple with unresolved trust issues or trauma may gravitate toward short-term interactions that facilitate emotional distance. Invisible Safety Net – An invisible safety net is the unconscious belief that you’ll be protected from failure or rejection, often rooted in past reassurance or privilege. Psychologically, it reduces perceived risk, allowing confidence—but can also delay self-reliance when over-relied upon.

Although this approach may initially seem safer, it often culminates in patterns of emotional avoidance and self-sabotage, wherein the very behaviors intended to provide protection diminish any prospect of achieving enduring love.

Fear Factor

The ramifications of these behavioral patterns can lead to emotional exhaustion and a pervasive sense of isolation. Individuals who primarily engage in superficial connections often confront profound regret. Reflection on potential relationships that might have flourished cause mental depression. It is during periods of quiet introspection, following the initial excitement of casual encounters, that these realizations are most poignant, leading to inquiries about past life choices.

Ultimately, the reluctance to commit arises from a complex interplay of psychological barriers and cultural influences. This interplay fosters a cycle of ephemeral engagements that leaves many individuals longing for a deeper sense of fulfillment. Gaining a comprehensive understanding of these dynamics is vital if society is to cultivate meaningful connections in an environment increasingly dominated by rapid interactions and novelty.

God, Community, Interventions, and Therapeutic Groups

God, community, and intervention initiatives offer a crucial space for individuals seeking understanding and healing through shared storytelling. By recounting experiences of betrayal, rejection, and emotional pain, community members foster empathy and acknowledge their common vulnerabilities. Do not internalize the actions of others! However, you can heal your own wounds with education fostered with real connection and resources. This collective journey addresses lingering traumas, enhances emotional intelligence, emotional healing, facilitates connection, and strengthens community ties. Together, these efforts create pathways toward a brighter future, a more intimate one with interpersonal skillsets.

“Take care of yourself and each other.” ~ Jerry Springer

One could ask the question, Am I my brother’s keeper? The choice is yours. People can experience the most suffering or feelings of loneliness without genuine connections. This test has been proven by psychologists worldwide,

“For centuries, philosophers and scientists have attempted to answer the question of why we’re here. Some have claimed that good health or growth is our purpose, while others see it as a divine blessing or a means of passing on our genes. Yet, no matter the answer, one thing is certain: we’re meant to connect with each other.” ~ Berkeley Exec Ed; Berkeley, California.

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