Attention! I do not intend this article to shame anyone or pass judgment. I wrote it with you in mind. I love to see people succeed. It’s my life’s work. Stop complaining, stop focusing on the past, and look toward the future. Improve your present “state of mind”. It’s time to stop holding pity-parties.

Why does contention lead to chaos?

Are you a contentious person?

A contentious person considers themselves honest and up front. They take pride in telling others, “the way things really are.” Subconsciously, they’re modeling behaviors of someone they admire. Someone who accomplished goals with intimidation. Contentious people destroy relationships and their careless attitude is detrimental to anyone living in faith.

Contention will sabotage good work. Contentious behavior is also contagious. These dream stealers are available to remind you of life’s pitfalls. They need to prove you’re wrong. Even if it means placing stumbling blocks, telling lies and convincing others around you. This is in order to remain seated in their own thinking.

Quality friends of excellent character do not sit around thinking of ways to screw you over. That’s not friendship, that’s hen shit. You will fail with such a person. They find fault with everything, discuss the business of others, enjoy disputing and opposing whatever is spoken. Perhaps, this very article.

“You cannot be good or too nice.” How would they know? Especially when there’s no evidence of suitability in their own life. It’s always the other person at fault. Zero accountability puffed up with pride, arrogance and unforgiveness.

Controversial people look for a reason to disagree. They are opposing to wisdom and agreements. Ingratitude and unthankfulness are poison. Contentious people can destroy a family in weeks and a loving relationship in days. Proverbs 25:24. They lack trust, faith and fortitude, which build strength in emotional competency. Here’s a checklist.

We should immediately stop contentious conversations with boldness. Rebuke them, avoid contact, because it’s poisonous. Prevent them any access to you. Block them! Be bold about it with great intention. Stay positive! By doing this, you are literally throwing cold water on a roaring fire.

Why all the excuses?

• I cannot find the right person because he/she is too.

• I enjoy being single because I’m at peace.

• I’m no people pleaser and need my space.

• I’m a fiercely independent person.

• My children need me. Yet their children never call or visit unless they need something from them.

None of these statements are true. It is the only way to get rid of people asking questions. It’s also hides an area in their life that’s painful. For this reason, it’s important to convince themselves they don’t need anyone. Emotionally injured people retreat into a cocoon of mistrust and doubt. Although it is quite understandable after a breakup. However, it’s not healthy to stay there wallowing in self pity. Confidence comes from taking action, not from sitting on the sidelines.

Did you know emotionally traumatized people would rather have a relationship with a domestic animal where they control the outcomes? They pursue relationships, such as a friend they meet up with occasionally and say goodbye later. Lack of intimacy and emotional incompetence aren’t prerequisites for peace of mind. Being alone shouldn’t become an enjoyable safety net of insecurity.

“You can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.” ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

No guts, no glory! We all fall down, but it’s important we get back up. People who get back up are those who succeed. A winner is a former loser who got angry and refused to quit. Inside work is always harder because it forces us to look inside ourselves and examine. Many fail only because they stop trying. Where there is a will, there’s a way. When there’s no way, there’s always an excuse.

“The day you get angry at your failure is the day you start winning. Winning doesn’t start around you, it starts inside you.” ~ Mike Murdock