Relationships

This article aims to address the impact of contentious behavior on relationships without assigning blame or judgment. It emphasizes the importance of looking toward the future and improving one’s present state of mind rather than dwelling on the past.

“You can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.”

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

Contention

Contention is often associated with chaos. A contentious person typically believes they are being honest and straightforward, often emulating someone they admire who achieved goals through intimidation. Such behavior can harm relationships and disrupt environments where faith is valued. Contentious individuals may undermine productive efforts and create a negative atmosphere by highlighting pitfalls and opposing viewpoints, which can hinder others’ progress.

Quality friendships are characterized by mutual support and understanding. Individuals who consistently find fault, engage in gossip, and dispute various topics can be detrimental to others. The assertion that “you cannot be good or too nice” often comes from individuals lacking accountability in their own lives, showing signs of pride, arrogance, and unforgiveness. Controversial individuals tend to seek reasons to disagree and resist consensus and wisdom, which can be damaging. Ingratitude and unthankfulness can negatively affect relationships, potentially leading to significant harm in familial and romantic connections. Proverbs 25:24 underscores the importance of trust and emotional competency in building strong relationships. A proactive approach to contentious conversations is recommended, including setting boundaries and minimizing contact with problematic individuals to foster a positive environment.

Excuses

Excuses such as being unable to find the right person or preferring solitude often indicate deeper issues or emotional pain. While it’s understandable to seek distance after a breakup, remaining in a state of self-pity can be detrimental. Confidence generally stems from active engagement rather than withdrawal. Research suggests that some individuals who have experienced emotional trauma may prefer controlling relationships with pets or casual acquaintances over deeper connections, leading to a lack of intimacy and trust. Isolation might seem comfortable, but it can also become a safety net for insecurity. 

“The day you get angry at your failure is the day you start winning. Winning doesn’t start around you, it starts inside you.” ~ Mike Murdock

A noteworthy perspective is that achieving success often requires taking risks and striving forward. Resilience is key; individuals who face challenges and persist are more likely to achieve their goals. The process of self-reflection is crucial for personal growth. Many individuals may not progress because they cease to make efforts. A popular sentiment is that where there is determination, solutions can be found, and when obstacles appear insurmountable, excuses may take their place. Recognizing failures can be a catalyst for success, as personal growth often begins internally.

Emotional Competency Checklist