Health For A Better Life (Relationship Edition)

Health To A Better Life

Don’t assume you are unworthy of love after a breakup.

Sometimes when a breakup occurs, the initial thought is to run like hell for the hills and hide under a rock. Most people feel rejected, let down, and even humiliated, especially when it comes suddenly. It’s always easy to say “I DO” when things are going great. However, when crap hits the fan, it is not as easy to show love and compassion for the other party. Before you get into any solid commitment, here are a few tips that may help you during difficult times.

When a breakup occurs, most people feel damaged, unworthy, or sometimes left in disbelief. Often it has nothing to do with them at all. It may be the other party. He or she may not feel it’s a good fit based on their fundamental beliefs. Love, respect, and honor mean different things to different people. It’s important as adults to take full responsibility for your actions, but please do not wallow in self-pity. It can lead to mental depression.

Give the other person time to be sad and to recover. Depending on how important the relationship is to them, recovery may be swift. Try not to bring the horrific thing up again and try to replace those bad feelings with good ones. We are what we think about, so keep the conversation positive. Never take for granted that someone will be there always. Anything not treated properly or mistreated in any environment will soon disappear; ie: flowers, clothing, a set of dishes, and even people.

Don’t expect the other person to fulfill the needs you’re supposed to handle.

If a person has insecurities about themselves outside the normal behavior, this could be a sign. It could be a sign this person has done little self-seeking or inner emotional or social work. All men and women have their insecurities. It’s always best to get to the root of the problem and not make the other person feel a need to worry. If you have reassured the person and they continue to feel insecure, it may not be you, but this person may have trust issues. These issues can be from a previous poor relationship.

Spending quality time with yourself to work on the things you need can help. Reading books on self-help, taking an exercise class, going to a spa….all these things can build self-confidence and esteem. If you are happy with yourself, then it’s a great start in any relationship.

Learn how to communicate in a calm, rational way.

Talking about your issues with your partner is a great way to break the ice. You should be able to confide in this person. If you can not confide in them about personal issues, then they may not be the one for you. Expressing your desires and baring your soul early in the relationship is a good indicator the person will be around for the long haul. For someone to love you, they have to know you better, so lying will not help. You are just avoiding the inevitable breakup.

Remain calm at all costs, show them you have a genuine concern, mature and be a superb listener. It is impossible to love someone you do not respect. Listening without judgment, or feeling a need to speak, is an outstanding way to show respect.

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Keep personal friends at a respectable distance.

We all have those lovely friends who seriously want to help. Hopefully, they are genuine and do not have a hidden agenda or have a stake in the breakup. Don’t be a showoff with your personal life goals and plans. Showing off can breed contempt in a friendship. Be mindful!

Often close friends can be a little biased, his friends may not be your friends and vice versa. They may encourage you to leave someone you still love. Don’t let false pride keep you away if this is the case. These are not evil friends, they just want their fortunate friend back at all costs.

“So you’ll hear this: “Aw man you don’t need her, there’s more fish in the sea”, or “Girl, let’s hangout he’s a loser who didn’t deserve you in the first place”. Sometimes it’s a parent who misses you because you hadn’t visited them in years until the break-up occurred. “

Don’t forget to make time for loved ones, and friends and try to lead a balanced life. No one can tell you what you already know about your loved one. If you are completely honest with yourself, then you don’t need a sidekick to tell you and drag you around like a lost puppy to special events.

Don’t allow friends or family members to say negative things about your loved one. Ultimately, they are mocking your choices and saying you do not have a moral judgment or possibly implying stupidity on your part. Saying negative things about your spouse reveals immaturity, but it doesn’t leave the door open for a comeback with family or friends because you’ve demolished their credibility.

Decide for your life, write it down, commit it to memory, and take care of yourself always and not just because you found a man or woman. When you know what you want, you get it. When you take care of yourself, then you have room to take care of others. It’s just that simple. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Don’t introduce significant others to unworthy people.

Introducing significant others to unworthy people is like waving a $100 bill in the face of a thief. Never lay it down, because it will not be there when you return. This part goes for family members as well. Just because someone is your family member doesn’t mean they won’t disrespect your personal life decisions as an adult.

Socializing is hard work because sometimes you let the good in with the bad. And peace of mind is hard work because you have to guard the doorway to your mind and having the wrong people in your life can make this difficult. Be certain to lighten the load, your happiness will depend upon it. A negative person full of worry, doubt, and complaints can suck the life out of the day.

Don’t be an angry person.

If things do not exactly work out, let cooler heads prevail. Don’t be an angry person full of spite-work and hostility. Being this way in a breakup situation only confirms the other person’s thoughts about breaking up. It gives them an “easy out” to say you were the bad person all along. Some people don’t have a reason for breaking up. They need air and room to breathe.